Don't

1. Volunteer to run the staff kids christmas party.
2. Talk to your co-workers semi-suicidal husband (I won't bore you with why), at the christmas do, about vibrators while wifey's looking serious and muttering "I'll kill her".
3. Knock the fact rescuer was OK with rescuee giving yours truely a lap dance (she tripped).
4. Expect 3star Hotels to have views and soap holders or painting finished a week after they open.
5. Mistake Chardon for Chandon.
6. Ogle the hottee. "Sure she's a size 6 but she's not what you'd call pretty". "Don't be so rude". Understanding but not fooled.
7. Dance for more than 3 hours wearing brand new high heels. Test drive those suckers!